Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
