my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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