Apparently you make a good broom.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
