we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
