It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize