were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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