I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize