every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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