hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
