Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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