The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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