i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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