I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
