Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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