Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
