Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
