loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Everything about him screamed your future.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
