i barfeds in our rink
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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