There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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