Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I am available for nakedness
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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