Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
