I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
