is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize