By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
