Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
