Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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