So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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