he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize