Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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