Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
