And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
