he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
