I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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