just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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