so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
