I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
