her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
