Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize