his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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