How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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