um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We are all done wearing pants today
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
