you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
