No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
