The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
