I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
