Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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