Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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