I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
