If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
