with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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