I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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