If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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