It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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