So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
