Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
