I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
