Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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