I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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