My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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