I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
