I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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